The Wheelock Quads are Born (Part 3)

The NICU roller coaster begins.

We need to mourn our losses, but that time is not now. Now, we have to turn all of our attention to our two perfect little babies--Amelia and Elena.

For the most part, they are doing well. They're both on Vapotherm at the moment (which is a step down from CPAP--their noses are too small for CPAP!). They were both extubated (taken off the ventilator) rather quickly, and other than a short re-intubation of Amelia for an apnea, they're doing well with their breathing. Their oxygen saturations are in the mid to high 20s or low 30s. Room air is 21%, so this is pretty good.

The big news this week was that the PDA (Patent Ductus Arteriosus) in their hearts closed with medication and no surgery will be necessary. This meant that they could start with feedings. Mommy has been pumping away, so we're hoping our little ones will start packing on some weight before long.

As expected, Elena is the wild one. She came out kicking and screaming and she continues to do so today. We constantly catch her yanking on her feeding tube and she's squirmy for sure. She looks quiet in this picture, but don't be fooled.

She's blue because she's undergoing phototherapy for high bilirubin levels (jaundice)--pretty normal for preemies. She's the bigger baby for now, and her numbers have been pretty consistent despite the occasional bradycardia. She also cries when we bother her too much, though it sounds like the squeak of a mouse.

Amelia is our little calm baby. She just hangs out.

She's a little behind Elena on her breathing, but not much. She was the first to get off phototherapy--even though she eventually had to go back on. She seems perfectly at home in her isolette (incubator). We've heard some peeps out of her, but not much seems to bother her. She really likes it when I sing to her. I know because she told me--she's very smart.

In general, Crissie and I are doing okay. We definitely have our moments, but we're so thankful for our beautiful girls. We're home today, and walking into their bedroom with four beds was hard. Seeing all the embroidered baby boy gear in the closet was more than either of us could handle. We definitely planned to bring all four home, and looking back, we wouldn't have done it any different.

The doctors keep telling us that Crissie has to heal from her c-section before we focus on assisting with caring for the babies (her incision is infected, btw--just thought I'd mention that). Well, the truth is, we both have to heal from our emotional wounds before we can give all of hearts to Amelia and Elena. At times, we're depressed, we're angry, we're hopeless, we're inconsolable. Then we walk into the NICU and it all goes away when we're with our girls.

Our hope is that there will be a joyous homecoming for our girls in the months to come. But until then, we ride the roller coaster that is 'life in the NICU' and we deal with our emotional baggage in the space between.

Thoughts and prayers are still welcomed. The four of us all have a lot of healing to do, and a little peace would be a nice change too...