Saturday, April 24, 2010

The Wheelock Quads are Born (Part 3)

The NICU roller coaster begins.

We need to mourn our losses, but that time is not now. Now, we have to turn all of our attention to our two perfect little babies--Amelia and Elena.

For the most part, they are doing well. They're both on Vapotherm at the moment (which is a step down from CPAP--their noses are too small for CPAP!). They were both extubated (taken off the ventilator) rather quickly, and other than a short re-intubation of Amelia for an apnea, they're doing well with their breathing. Their oxygen saturations are in the mid to high 20s or low 30s. Room air is 21%, so this is pretty good.

The big news this week was that the PDA (Patent Ductus Arteriosus) in their hearts closed with medication and no surgery will be necessary. This meant that they could start with feedings. Mommy has been pumping away, so we're hoping our little ones will start packing on some weight before long.

As expected, Elena is the wild one. She came out kicking and screaming and she continues to do so today. We constantly catch her yanking on her feeding tube and she's squirmy for sure. She looks quiet in this picture, but don't be fooled.


She's blue because she's undergoing phototherapy for high bilirubin levels (jaundice)--pretty normal for preemies. She's the bigger baby for now, and her numbers have been pretty consistent despite the occasional bradycardia. She also cries when we bother her too much, though it sounds like the squeak of a mouse.

Amelia is our little calm baby. She just hangs out.


She's a little behind Elena on her breathing, but not much. She was the first to get off phototherapy--even though she eventually had to go back on. She seems perfectly at home in her isolette (incubator). We've heard some peeps out of her, but not much seems to bother her. She really likes it when I sing to her. I know because she told me--she's very smart.

In general, Crissie and I are doing okay. We definitely have our moments, but we're so thankful for our beautiful girls. We're home today, and walking into their bedroom with four beds was hard. Seeing all the embroidered baby boy gear in the closet was more than either of us could handle. We definitely planned to bring all four home, and looking back, we wouldn't have done it any different.

The doctors keep telling us that Crissie has to heal from her c-section before we focus on assisting with caring for the babies (her incision is infected, btw--just thought I'd mention that). Well, the truth is, we both have to heal from our emotional wounds before we can give all of hearts to Amelia and Elena. At times, we're depressed, we're angry, we're hopeless, we're inconsolable. Then we walk into the NICU and it all goes away when we're with our girls.

Our hope is that there will be a joyous homecoming for our girls in the months to come. But until then, we ride the roller coaster that is 'life in the NICU' and we deal with our emotional baggage in the space between.

Thoughts and prayers are still welcomed. The four of us all have a lot of healing to do, and a little peace would be a nice change too...

19 comments:

  1. My heart is breaking for you guys right now. I only know the fear that comes with almost loosing a baby, I can't imagine the pain of actual loss. Please keep your faith and know that God has a plan for you both and your precious little girls.

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  2. I am so sorry for your loss. I cannot even begin to imagine how you are feeling, but you are in my thoughts & prayers.

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  3. I am so sorry and it breaks my heart to read your story. I am praying for you and those two precious babies . God definitely has a plan for you all. Praying for you....Kami

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  4. I'm at a complete loss of words, but please know that there are 100s praying for you and your family!

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  5. Y'all have got to be 2 of the strongest people I know. Thank you so much for sharing this with all of us! I have been praying for all of you and will continue of course. Be strong for those 2 little ones...but do take you time to heal from your losses, that is so important. If y'all need anything please let me know, I am happy to help!
    Love
    Katie B.D.

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  6. Crissie,
    I saw this blog address on your Facebook wall and wanted to read about your babies. I am so sorry for your losses and so happy for your blessings. I have been praying for you and your family since I heard of everything. If there is anything that I can do, please let me know. One of my closest friends is the mother of a 25 week old preemie.

    All of my very best wishes,
    Kristen Harvey Prescott

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  7. I am so sorry for your loss. Your family is in my thoughts and prayers.

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  8. Our hearts, love, and prayers go out to you all today. Your love for all four of your fighters is so genuinely displayed. The quad mamas will be a wonderful support for all of you - just let us know how we can serve you best!

    xoxo
    The Murray Family
    www.4tunate.net

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  9. I am sitting here in tears, heartbroken for your loss. I wish there was something that I could write that would bring you some comfort... I will be praying for you and all your precious little ones. I am so sorry for your loss and so hopeful that your sweet little girls will grow healthy and strong!

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  10. I am so sorry for the passing of your sweet angels! I pray for your healing and strength! I pray that God will hold Elena and Amelia in his arms and protect them and keep them strong! My daughter was born at 25 weeks and is now 20 months old. Keep the faith...I am sure it is hard as your being tested in the worst way!

    http://tessastidings.blogspot.com/

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  11. I wish i had some insightful thing to say. Something that may actually help.
    I am so sorry for your loss. I cant even imagine. Your girls are fighters and will do great!
    Praying and thinking of you!
    Casey

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  12. Sending you lots of love and light. Praying for peace.

    Love,
    Harmony and David
    (your dome friends)

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  13. My prayers are with you and your girls. My son was born premature and is now a healthy happy 6 year old. Have hope in the One that holds all our lives in His hands. You have two angels in heaven now looking over you and their sisters, I hope that brings some peace to your troubled hearts.

    Love,
    Bill (Friend of Lauren Green)

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  14. I'm so sorry for the loss of your little ones. I am in awe at how you are able to cope at all these days. But I am sure your two precious girls are motivating you beyond belief.
    I hope Crissie's infection is well under control by now and that she is gaining back some strength.
    If you have not yet found this site, you may want to visit the March of Dimes community for parents of preemies called Share Your Story: http://www.shareyourstory.org/. Many folks have found it very supportive.
    Thinking of the four of you and wishing you strength and good health.

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  15. I am so sorry for your losses, I am praying for your angels in heaven and for your survivors to stay strong. Hugs xxx

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  16. I am so sorry for your losses, I am praying for you and the girls now and in the days ahead.

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  17. Love and prayers from Kansas for everything you have already endured and for strength for everything you will still need to endure. My heart is broken for your family but I have hope that there will be wonderful and glorious news down the road.

    Love,
    Moni

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  18. Praying for you. I'm so sorry for your loss of Lillian and Garrison. Praying for your girls to continue to fight and do well.

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  19. I am so happy things are moving in the right direction for your two beautiful babies. Thanks so much for the thank you card and the beautiful cross. It was a pleasure being a part of your pregnancy. You and your husband were so nice that you made our jobs that much more easier. Hope all goes well for you and your family!

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